Part One

The only thing I could think of was how much I hated egg salad. But at that precise moment, I'd have eaten a raft of the fucking things rather than be in the spot I was in. I felt and heard the zipper close again, and Cathy's maniacal cackle. Then the stench hit, hard. Rotten eggs. Old egg salad. My eyes watered, my lungs burned with a sulfuric afterglow. I fucking hate egg salad. "That was particularly bad," Cathy laughed. "I'm rather proud of that one." I struggled, but as I did the rope grew tighter around my wrist and I used up more air, rotten air, fart-tainted air. The nylon of the sleeping bag stuck to my sweaty face and I could barely breathe, and what I could breathe I didn't want to. "Getting stuffy in there?" she asked.

The bag unzipped. I felt Cathy's giant ass engulf my face, the hair from her copious cuntal bush that peeked around the edges of her brutally tight and short shorts tickling my mouth. She pulled the fabric aside and my nose was prisoner of her soggy shit chute again. "Ahhhhhhhh...." she sighed, as the murky mist from her fluttering ass valve enveloped me. "SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssssss....." it came, long and slow and hot, the latter half of the first blast waning into a sibilant sizzle before picking up to a trumpet blast on the follow through. "....sssssssssssssssssBLATTTTTTTTTTT!!!"

She was off me and zipped up the mummy bag tight around me again. Dank darkness engulfed me. The stench made me sneeze as I felt her ass oil drip down the back of my throat. I spit out a pussy hair and tried not to breathe. Fucking egg salad. Just two days before, all was right in my world. I'd pulled into the camping site in New Hampshire late Friday happy to be away from a shitty job, a bitchy girlfriend, a nosy family, the whole ball of dysfunctional wax. This place would be perfect, an escape until Sunday morning or afternoon, just to get the fuck away from everything and everyone. It wasn't a popular campground, I found out, too far into the woods to be accessible to families with screaming children. But it was perfect for me. My site was hundreds of yards from the next site, and that wasn't taken. So I pitched my tent, got hunkered down and late that afternoon, as the sun set through a maze of stately pines, I took off for a walk around the campground.

That's when I saw Cathy, though I didn't know her name then. I saw a flash of thigh, huge thigh, blonde hair, stout body. Powerlifter, I thought, this chick had to be a powerlifter. I hugged a thick pine and peeked around it as she pitched her tent. She was alone, I knew that, as she easily hoisted heavy bags out of her Ford pick up truck. She had her long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, and wore a tight black T-shirt and very tight, very short black shorts, the clingy spandex type that were so snug around her oaken thighs it seemed they'd either cut off her leg circulation or shred in the effort. On her huge calves she wore short white socks and low black boots. Her upper body was farm-girl solid, looking like it she'd been tossing bales of hay onto a truck since she learned to walk. She was pretty, too, not powerlifter ugly.

The girl was build like the proverbial brick shithouse, the BIG brick shithouse, and had a gorgeous face besides. She was bending over to drive stakes into the ground for the tent when it happened. Her giant ass cheeks, hard and muscular and thick, fluttered in pre-blast and then she unloaded a mammoth fart, a thrumbler, one I damn near felt split in a hot-air blast around the tree I was hiding behind. She laughed to herself and kept hammering. "Fucking truck stop food does it every time," she said. BOOM! Another fart, then another. And even though I was a good 20 feet away, I could smell it, that rotten egg aroma, and it was sickening me. 'Great,' I thought to myself, 'how the fuck do I get out of here now without being spotted by this fart bitch.' All sexual thoughts of her left me as I slowly walked away, backwards, watching her continue to hammer the stakes. I was about 30 yards down the campground road, totally out of her sight now, when I heard thundering footsteps and whirled around, fully expecting to see a charging black bear roaring at me. I was close. It was the blonde, thighs slamming into quivering motion as she raced toward me, thick arms pumping. I froze, couldn't move, and it didn't matter much.

She was on me in seconds, she was that quick for a big girl. She launched herself from a good 10 feet away, legs wide open. Her black spandexed crotch crashed into my face and I felt the twin oaks of her thighs slam shut around my head as we both slammed to the earth. She was on her side now, leaning up on one arm, pulling the back of my head with the other hand, smothering my face into her cheesy crotch as those insanely huge thighs chewed my head. She was speaking, but I couldn't hear a thing with ears so full of thighs so big. I madly tapped her legs in submission but she squeezed harder. I grabbed at them and tried to pull them apart. She let up just enough for me to hear. "I said there's no way you're pulling these babies apart," she growled, glaring down into my red face. "My thighs are 33 inches around, my calves 22, so forget it. You're just what I needed right now, this weekend. I have a lot of stress to work out and you're gonna be my relief!!!" Just before I felt her iron adductors lace into my neck and shut down my blood to the brain to knock me out, I got my first whiff of cheese, rank pussy and, naturally, egg salad as I felt her thighs quiver and heard, through the conduit of her massive upper legs, a whoosh of air leave her gargantuan ass and flood up between her scissored limbs to wash over my face. Mercifully, I went to sleep.