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Thread: Farting and relationships

  1. #1
    Elite Member Vector's Avatar
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    Farting and relationships

    My girlfriend is very sexy, beautiful, pretty, great girl, does all the things a girlfriend should do, but she HARDLY ever gets gassy. My ex girlfriend was way less attractive, yet she was the gassiest woman I've ever met. I couldn't believe the frequency, great smells, and length of some of her farts and it seemed that she would be very gassy every time we saw each other. My problem is that my current girlfriend very rarely gets gas and when she does, they ALWAYS smell like rotten eggs! I hate those types of farts. Makes you NOT want to get near her ass when she farts. This is NOT good for a fart fetishist, you agree? Thing is, we have a good relationship...yet I don't think I can be with her for the long term when she doesn't satisfy my fantasies. I find myself looking for other women who will make my fantasies come true. I spoke to this girl last night who I'm meeting with in 2 days. My pitch worked great, and I suggest you guys use it for those who find it hard to tell other women their fetish. I didn't tell this girl that I find girl farts sexually desirable, but rather told her that I did not like prissy women. In fact I told her "the type of women I like are the ones who don't give a shit and wouldn't care to burp or fart around me. She immediately shot back on the IM "I burp all the time." Then I asked her "well... if we were chillen on the couch watchin a movie and you had to fart, would you let it rip? She said "if I had to fart, I wouldn't want to embarrass you and myself, but if I had to, you'll know b/c I'll say "excuse me, I gotta fart, can't hold it!" Then she proceeded to tell me how her farts are LONG and LOUD. So I asked her "what's the longest fart you ever let out?" She said "10 seconds!"... I couldn't believe it... it's all trial and error...you have to find a chick who's not prissy and doesn't care. I tried the same pitch to another girl 5 minutes later and she said "you sound like a keeper." Of course I responded with the cocky-funny answer and said "That's what they all say."

    Anyways, you guys think it's worth it to dump my girl and look for women who will satisfy my desires the way I want them? She also found some fart videos on my computer... when she asks me about them, I feel like telling her, well, you don't fart often... truth is, us men are wired to look at different asses and videos and crave to see the potentials of other womens farting habits since they are all sooo vastly different!!!
    Real women produce Bubbly and Gulpy farts!

  2. #2
    Baned User
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    if a woman is perfect for you except for the farts and you leave her for that very reason then that's fucked up... both for you and for her.

  3. #3
    Gold Member HOOF HEARTED's Avatar
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    Hey, vector! I gotta deal...if you live in the same area as me. Break up with your current gf & set her up with me & you can go after this girl you're thinking about being with. I actually prefer women's farts smelling like rotten eggs. Its easier for me to withstand. A win win situation for both of us. I can fix food for her that will make her fart a lot. Better she smells like rotten eggs than smell like my mom's loser brother. Bin Laden, Jesse James Hollywood & Ryan Hoyt don't even deserve that type of inhumane torture. Just kidding, yes they do. They'd vomit so much & maybe would choke to death in their own vomit

  4. #4
    Elite Member
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    I'm all for finding people who are into the same stuff I'm in, but that would totally be fucked up if you do that.
    God bless...I don't want to be here anymore. If Jesus can save Lizzy, then he can do the same for me too.....No this is not a joke

  5. #5

    Hi Vector

    Vector - I have the exact same problem, my wife is perfect in every way but her farts don't smell, except one that is ok about once a month.
    She knew I had a fart fetish before we got married.
    When we got married (I am fairly analytical) I tabled what foods made her fart, and what made her farts smell the way I liked using a process of elimination.
    It took months but it helped a little.
    We have been happily married for 25 years.
    She knows how important smelling farts is to me and after a degree of comprimise
    she allows me to smell other women's farts.
    She knows that's all I will do and doesn't get jealous.
    The catch is most other women don't want a relationship that just involves me smelling their farts.
    I have tried a few prostitutes, but it has never worked out.
    I have considered hypnosis so I believe any fart she does smells fantastic.

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