I still consider myself straight, in the sense that I can't imagine being in love with another man and marrying them or anything like that. I am still into trans girls though and I could still see myself being in love with a trans girl and being in a relationship with one.
Futa was the first step in realizing this. Somewhere around college I think I broke that "barrier" of thinking that dicks have to exclusively be considered male.
But there s this phenomenon of femboys that I've become attracted to as well. I've denied it to myself a bunch of times thinking "Why am I looking at this? This is gay. This is pretty gay that I'm looking up videos of guys burping and farting. This is so gay. SO gay." and now I've been masturbating to said videos like "YES THIS IS SO GAY AND I LOVE IT!"
There is a specific type of men that still turn me on with my fetishes. They can't have too much hair. They have to have a somewhat higher pitch voice.
I realized this with the YouTuber fatbelly19. I once accidentally opened up a video of his thinking it was a girl but then realized it was a guy. But I kept watching. Whenever I was on the hunt for a new girl burping video and either didn't find one or was dissatisfied with what I found, I was very tempted to look at his videos. Next thing I know, I jack off to him too.
There's something about male gas that I realized can still turn me on, and it's the fact that their gas tends to sound so much louder and more satisfying than most female gas. (Granted, I'm referring to most "realistic" amateur YouTube channels. Of course there are female fetish models that are fantastic and I jack off to) Whenever I want to find a girl YouTuber bloating and getting gassy, they hardly burp or fart because they think it's disgusting. Either that or when they do, it's very weak. Meanwhile, I find a guy inflating his belly and he lets it rip so loudly and satisfying. Or drinks like liters of beer and belches like a pig.
Sometimes when I watch these guy videos, I don't want to see the face. If I see the face by accident, then it ruins the whole thing for me. I can't get turned on again. So maybe sometimes I'm trying to replace what I'm hearing and pretending it's a girl doing it?
There's this YouTube video that was just audio that I was so afraid of realizing that it turned me on that I never looked at it again, but now I regret doing so. If anyone knows what it is, I'd appreciate it. The video was solely audio about some "frat boys burping and farting watching the game". Everything about it was so raucously loud and obnoxious, but I realized it turned me on because of how grossly loud their gas was, and how they grunted and sighed. Yet the thought of a frat boy alone turns me off, but hearing that audio alone turned me on. It gets me so confused.
I have one story IRL that turned me on and felt conflicted. This happened several years ago at a friend's apartment. This friend I see very infrequently ripped a massive fart and I felt so awkward because it turned me on. He has very little hair but is more of a frat bro. Huge appetite. Takes protein. But very smooth skin and ironically not super masculine. It wasn't just the fart that turned me on, but the situation in which he farted. We were hanging out in someone's apartment and the hottest girl in our friend group was hanging out with us. She then left, and he said, "Is she gone? Can somebody check?" So someone stuck their head out into the hallway and said, "Yep, she's gone." So he lifted his leg and ripped a fart that must have lasted like 5 seconds. No joke. It was disgustingly, cartoonishly loud and long. He groaned and said how he was holding that in for the entire time she was hanging out with us (a good hour or so). I felt SO goddamn conflicted at the time. It was the hottest guy fart I experienced in my life.
I guess this makes me bi? Let's put it this way. I wouldn't be opposed to sexual interaction with a femboy. Though, I would never be into the idea of a relationship with a femboy, ever
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