Nothing against you guys or anything, but it's just that this kink happends to be making my life shit. The reason? My 12 year old kid sister.
If she had run in on me watching fart porn or in some other way found out about my fetish and tried to blackmail me about it'd be fine. Well probarbly not, but it's better than the current issue...
You see, my sister is probarbly one of the greatest farters currently alive or something like that. And it drives me fucking insane. And she knows it... She probarbly thinks I'm just grossed out, which isn't far from the truth as I'm getting torn up inside from my own sister who's also a minor being the closest thing to my ultimate fantasy.
One time I almost masturbated to her, luckily I pulled out in the last second. We had been at a family gathering, you know the type, really boring with a load of distant relatives you don't know and have no intention of getting known with. My sister (who was 10 at the time making it even more sicker) was told that she had better hold her farts in during the dinner or she would have to sit at the childrens table (she hates our cousin).
I guess this would be the time to explain her condition. She has this trick where she can suck air up her ass wich I dare sasy is the major contributor to her talent, but at the same time she has this colon disorder (some kind of chronic flatulence I think, I haven't wanted to look too much into it) so she's really gassy naturally as well. What a killer combo right? If only it had been my next door crush or something instead... -_-
Either way, she had to hold in the natural part of her farts during the entire dinner which if I remember correctly trekked a little over two and a half hours. So when we finally leave the table she goes upstairs with the two cousins she actually likes and I followed them because I think the three of them are really nice kids and way better company than my alcoholized grand-uncle. In retroperspective thisis probarbly the dumbest thing I have done because when we get upstairs my sis exclaims that she's been holding it in for three hours now (she must have the spitcher control of a shaolin monk...) and that she wants to see if she can beat her personal best. She asks me to take the time as I'm the only one with a watch of us four and then she leans over on the couch and rips what is probarbly the biggest fart I will ever witness. Unfortunately...
Have you guys seen that Simone clip where she's in a red and black superhero costume and rips this really loud monster fart of about 8 seconds? Yeah, well this motherfucker was at least just as loud as that one but it lasted (and I can still hardly believe it) 26 seconds!!
Do you understand my pain now? I live under the same roof as a girl who could outfart a flock of elephants, and she's my own fucking sister and a minor at that!!
After she had ripped that unholy beast of a fart we practically had to evacuate the second floor because the smell was so intense. One of my cousins actually puked from the smell, but she's a squeamish little wimp so I doubt it counts for much. After a while the stink started spreading over the house and a portion of the party actually moved outside, even if we opened the window it stuck around for at least 15 minutes or so.
I was so awestruck by her preformance I actually was overcome with the temptation to sneak into a bathroom in the basement and masturbate. I went of for a little while but then I luckily managed to snap out of it before I came. I splashed some cold water from the sink in my face to calm down and just sat there for a while. I was afraid to meet my sister again in case she pulled of something like that again, but I figured it would be suspicious if I was away for too long. I can't really remember how the rest of the party went, except for my uncle getting in a fight with my grand-dad, but I remember the car trip home.
My mom thinks my sister's farting is nasty and don't want her to, but my dad thinks it's funny and often jokes around with her about it. He asked sis if that "poison mist" right after dinner was her work and that he was really imperssed by it. He asked me what the time on it was and I reluctantly awnsered 26 seconds wich really got him going, he kept talking about world records and TV preformance, just bullshitting of course but it didn't help me tring to fight back an erection. Neither did it help with my sister trying to repeat her preformance...
And this is in essence how my life is. There are few things I find more disgusting than incest and paedophilia, and this fert fetish is dragging me down both paths.

I fucking hate this fetish!