FART STORY: The Girl That Couldn't Stop Farting

Once upon a time there was this little 10 year-old girl with blonde hair and blue eyes named Kelly. She never farted, at least not in front of anybody. One day she and her two friends Angie and Megan were playing hide-and-go-seek in the woods, and Kelly came upon this beautiful pendant. She looked it over and fell in love with it. Now she was in a part of the woods she wasn't familiar with, and her friends hadn't found her yet, so she took the pendant and went to look for them. While she was looking for them a voice called out saying: "Bring back my pendant or you will fart every time someone says your name". Now Kelly thought I must be imagining things because it was a hot sunny day and she was a little tired.

Finally she made it to the beginning of the woods. There was Angie and Megan. "Hey Kelly where have you been" Megan said. As soon as she got done talking Kelly farted so loud that the whole woods could hear her. Angie said "Man what did you eat?". Kelly said "Nothing". Angie said "That didn't sound like nothing" and then Megan said "It don't smell like nothing either P.U.". They both laughed.

Kelly ran all the way home crying. She went to her room. Her mom came in "Hey Kelly your friends called they want you to call them back". Again Kelly farted really loud, and her mom just looked and left the room. Kelly was very upset and embarrassed; she thought "I must have eaten something today that made me fart. Well I am going to sleep on this and hopefully it will go away". The next day at school her boyfriend came over and said "Hey there, Kelly". Sure enough Kelly let out a 10.0. Kelly's boyfriend's jaw just dropped he said "I have never heard you do that before". Kelly said "Well sometimes girls do that". She didn't want to turn into a cry baby in front of him. He said "Yeah but I never thought you would pack such a powerful punch". After she was done talking to him she thought "Man this is really happening to me". She just hoped she could make it through the day without anybody saying her name but in the third period, the period right before lunch, the teacher said "Kelly can you give us the answer to problem 5". She knew what was going to happen, but she couldn't resist: she farted so loudly that you would have thought a bomb had exploded. The teacher and everyone in the class fell silent; then of course the laughs came and the smell gagged a few. The teacher said "That was inappropriate" and said "Don't let it happen again".

Finally the period was over. Kelly came to the lunch table. Megan said "The way you have been farting I don't think you need anything to eat". Kelly said "Okay guys this is the reason I am farting so much". She showed them the pendant. Megan said "You expect us to believe that pendant is making you fart". Kelly said "Remember yesterday when we were playing hide-and-go-seek I found it while I was looking for you. I heard a voice say that if I don't return it I will fart when someone says my name. I thought nothing of it. I thought I imagined it and now I know I didn't. Will you help me?" "Sure we'll help you Kelly" Angie said. Kelly said "OH NO" and she farted again it sounded like a train that rumbled the seat. Megan punched Angie "Stop that! she is going to make me lose my lunch!". Angie said "Sorry. Yeah we will help you if we can call you something else". Megan and Angie both laughed. "So where did you find this thing" Angie said. Kelly said "Well that is the problem I don't know where and if I don't bring it back I will fart all the time. We will meet at the edge of the woods at 6:00 tonight".

When lunch was over they all threw their trash away and headed for the next class. Then over the loud speaker the principal said "Will Kelly Malone please report to the office". Megan and Angie said " Oh clear out". Kelly didn't even give them time she blew like a volcano but after the air cleared she knew what she had been called down for and said "See you two later 6:00, okay" then went down to the office. Now the principal called her "Come on in Kelly" and Kelly blew one. She was feeling bad that the secretary had to smell it. The principal said "Now Kelly do you know why you are here". Kelly lifted her but up and made the seat move three inches with her fart. "Well Mr. Peerce it is a long story" Kelly said. Mr. Peerce said "We have time". Kelly said "Well it is a weird one too". Mr Peerce bent down and took Kelly's hand and said "You can tell me anything Kelly". With that a large fart came out right by Mr. Peerce's nose. He said "Kelly why you farting so much I have never heard anything bad about you until this". Kelly had to fart again and did. Mr. Peerce said "If you don't want to tell me then I will have to call your parents". But Kelly couldn't explain so she had to let him do it.

Well the rest of the school day went fine but when she got home her dad said "How was school honey?" and hugged her. While he was hugging her her mom called "Kelly can you come here" Kelly farted right on her dad's hand. Her dad said "Darn couldn't you wait until I was done hugging you". "Sorry dad" she said. She went into the kitchen to see what her mom wanted. She said "I got a call from your principal this afternoon about you farting in school". Kelly was so uncomfortable having her mom talk about her farting. She had goi ne from no farts to that is all she can do is fart. Kelly said "Mom it is hard to explain". Her mom said "Well until you can you are grounded". Kelly said "I can't be grounded tonight I have something very important to do". Her mom said "Well you better start explaining then". Kelly couldn't because they would think she is crazy.

So 6:00 rolled around Kelly was in her room. She had to get out so she used the old tree beside her window to get down. She just had to get this pendant back there so she can be normal again. Sure enough Megan and Angie were there. They said "I thought you weren't coming". Kelly said "I was grounded for farting". Megan said "Sad very sad". Kelly said "Enough joking we need to put this thing back" They searched though the woods: no luck until Kelly started farting little farts. Angie said "Hey quit that nobody is saying your name". Kelly said "Maybe it is a sign". She walked one way she stopped farting. She walked the other way again she stopped farting. But when she walked straight ahead her farts because louder "This way" she said. Megan said "If I knew this was going to happen I would have bought a gas mask". They followed the path, Kelly farting like crazy until she was at the point where she had found the pendant. She recognized the place and there was a spot made in the shape of the pendant. So Kelly went up and put the pendant in its place. The wind picked up and a spirit came up. "Thank you for returning my pendant. Now you will be free of my spell". After the spirit said that it was gone. "Okay guys thanks for helping me out" Kelly said. Angie said "Let's see if it works Kelly". Kelly stood there: no fart! They all hugged and went back home. Now Kelly finally got the nerve to tell her parents what had happened and then her parents said "So it true". Kelly was like "What". Her parents said" We have heard stories about a pendant that makes you fart and now we know it is true". So they throw a party for Kelly. Angie said "Hey Kelly this cake is good". Kelly let out a medium fart. Angie and Megan said " OH no not again". Kelly said "Not to worry I did it on my own". They all laughed and farted with her and they all live happily ever after and now Kelly farts when she has to no matter who is around.